Face Your Fears

As I stepped outside for my run yesterday morning, my head was full of anxiety.  I was nervous. My stomach was in knots.  This wasn't race day, so what was the big deal?  

I had to do 8 miles, my longest run since October.  I was excited about the distance but nervous because I hadn't run more than 5 on my own since I'd started running again post-PRP.  I've run 20 miles solo so why did 8 seem so daunting?  I guess I've gotten used to running with people in the past 6 weeks - Brian, RUNdetroit group run, Detroit Tough Endurance friends.  Sure I've run by myself a few times but not 8 miles.  

I was also off my routine, having eaten breakfast and drank coffee pre-run instead of the usual post-run Starbucks stop.  Was that causing the knots?  Should I wait to run while it settles?  

What I didn't really want to admit was that the biggest source of my anxiety was actually fear.  Coach Terra wanted me to run 8:00-8:15/mile pace and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it.  I was afraid I wouldn't have the endurance to keep that pace for 8 miles. Maybe I'd be huffing and puffing or my hamstring would start to hurt.  I might completely run out of gas and say, "Screw this!"  I might trip and fall, something that happens more than I'd like to admit.  Basically any scenario possible went through my head.  Remember, I hadn't run 8 miles since October.  Anything could happen.

Yes, anything could happen.  Thankfully it was a beautiful sunny morning.  I put on my brightest shoes, one of my favorite shirts, and my sunglasses.  I'd made a special Spring playlist just for the run.  I turned that on, started my Garmin, and I was off.  I easily slipped into my planned pace and I felt at peace.  I ended up having the best run I'd had in a long time.  

Before leaving the house I'd felt a little crabby because I'd been so worried about the run.  I hadn't wanted to fail.  I'd been afraid to fail.  I just needed to have a little more faith. Faith in myself and faith in Coach Terra's plan.  She wouldn't ask me to do something I'm not ready to do.  

Face your fears.  Run at them head on.  Again and again and again.

On the Run: Corktown Race 2015

On Sunday, March 15th I ran the Corktown 5k, my first race in over 4 months.  This was a race of firsts for me.  First pain-free race since injuring myself by running the Novi 1/2 Marathon last May.  First time racing with Brian (we ran side by side from start to finish). First team event with my gym, Detroit Tough.  Most importantly, this was the first time in years I raced completely happy and carefree, not trying to push myself too hard or worrying about what place I finished.  

For those of you not from the Detroit area, the Sunday before St. Patrick's Day basically IS St. Patrick's Day.  That's when Corktown celebrates with the race at 10am, followed by the parade at noon (drinking and shenanigans all day).  I ran the race for the first time last year but have never been to the parade.  Honestly, I'm not up to dealing with all the craziness!  

Brian and I parked at Mudgie's to stay warm and have some pre-race coffee.  I've never had coffee before a 5k but hey, there's a first for everything!  From there we could walk the few blocks to the gym to meet everyone, take a group photo, and head to the start as a team.  I loved that Brian got to meet a lot of my Detroit Tough family for the first time!

We had just enough time to get in a warm up run, do some run drills (high knees, butt kicks, walking lunges), and squeeze into our corral with a few minutes to spare before the start.  This race is huge so they have several corrals based on your finish time.  We were in the first one but toward the back.  Brian's goal was to finish in 25:00, which would be a PR for him.  My goal was to make sure he did just that.

Because of the rush at the beginning, we started out faster than planned.  Brian was doing great so we just kept it up.  I chatted the whole time, waved to people, thanked volunteers.  The people-watching was great - lots of costumes and crazy get-ups.  We paced a guy in lime-green spandex and an orange mullet for most of the race.  It was awesome.  He beat us - but not by a lot!  We ended up finishing under 25:00.  Brian beat his Mustache Dache time by over a minute and he also beat me by 1 second!  He was NOT letting me win this race.  haha.  

We got our medals and saw a whole group of Detroit Tough friends waiting for us.  
Like Megan - my amazing new friend!  We also saw several fellow RUNdetroit Flight Club friends too!



After the race we headed back to the gym for a potluck brunch - and a little monkeying around!

Running a race with my friends and family - after so many months of injury - filled me with such joy and happiness.  No nerves, no stress, no worries.  Among the (many) things I've learned from my injury, one lesson is this: not every race has to be your own.  Race with and for someone you love.

Time

24:44

Pace

7:58/mile

Fuel

banana

Tunes

none (first race without music!)

Finding Strength

12 days post-PRP.  12 days of not being being able to bike or swim.  Those were my saving graces in the 13 weeks that I wasn't able to run.  I spent the first three days after my injection trying to be as immobile as possible.  According to my doctor and what I read online, those days are most critical for healing to occur.  It wasn't easy to be still but I knew it was important.  I used the time to rest, cuddle with the kitties, and finally get back to reading Born to Run, which I started reading about 4 years ago.  Now that I know a lot more about running, I'm finding it much more interesting and enjoyable than when I started reading it.

I knew I was healing and tried to remain positive; however, sitting around for 3 days with little movement started to mentally wear on me.  I started to panic.  If I was going this stir-crazy after only three days, what was I going to do for two weeks?  Sure I could use weights for my upper body but I was craving some heart-pumping cardio.  That's when I remembered the machine at the gym that is rarely used but would be perfect for me: the arm bike!

My spirits lifted when I thought of this!  It isn't the cardio I'm used to but it's something.  Since last Saturday, I've been at the gym every day, pedaling away for 30 minutes on the arm bike.  It's harder than it looks!  I get some cardio benefit while working my chest, shoulders, back, arms and core.  I increase the watts to make it more challenging and sometimes try one arm at a time for variety.  I found an article about arm bike benefits here.

I've also been working on strength training.  At home I use my dumbbells for biceps, triceps, and shoulders.  I have to be careful with core moves but can do crunches and Russian twists (feet on floor).  Yesterday I went to Mechanics at Detroit Tough and Coach Terra put me through a rigorous arm workout.  I did 4 circuits of biceps, triceps, chest, wall pushups, crunches, Russian twists, and shoulders (Y and T raises). My warm-up was 5 minutes of wall angels.  I'm feeling those today!

I know a lot of people get injured and can't run.  When that happens there are cross-training options - bike, swim, elliptical.  I never imagined I'd see the day when I couldn't do any of the above.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself (even though it was tempting to do so) I chose to embrace this opportunity to focus on strengthening my upper body.  

I may not get to run.  I may not get to bike or swim.  But I get to use to arm bike!  

Embrace your strength.  Focus on what you get to do.

Injury Update: Hope in Sight

This hamstring injury of mine has been a long, drawn out process.  The onset of pain was May 2nd and it has never gone away.  I've had better days and worse but the pain has been there for 9 months.  Running, walking, sitting, bending over to put on my shoes.  It's become one of the constants in my life.  

Just as stressful as the pain have been the appointments to try and get a clear diagnosis and proper treatment. First was my family doctor who finally referred me out to an orthopedic.  I had video analysis done with a physical therapist to check for weakness and imbalances.  Then there were the three rounds of physical therapy.  I took three cortisone dose packs.  Other anti-inflammatories.  I tried massage, yoga, and acupuncture.

Somewhere in there I took a 2-week break from running.  I still trained for the Detroit Free Press Marathon, albeit on reduced mileage and speed.  And I ran that damn race, even though it about killed me to do so.  After that I really scaled back, running one last 5k a few weeks later for fun, until I stopped running altogether.  For 12 weeks.

The first day I didn't run I had a meltdown.  It felt like my world was crumbling around me and I burst into tears.  My whole body shook as I grieved the loss of what is so much more than exercise - it's my release, my joy, my freedom, my peace.  I didn't know how I would live without it for an indeterminate amount of time.

Getting through the first week was the hardest but it got easier.  It helped that I could bike.  I rode that damn stationary bike every day, challenging myself to up the resistance and ride more miles (whatever that even means on those things).  

I also started going to Detroit Tough, where Coach Terra helped me gain strength and balance in her Mechanics class.  Thanks to her I can do solid pistol squats, real sit-ups, and a seriously good bird dog.  More importantly, she helped me remember to look at the big picture and got me through the tough days when I missed running the most.  

Coach Terra also taught me to be BOLD.  I never learned to swim as a child so I took 5 lessons and practiced on my own every Sunday morning.  I moved from the kick board to a buoy and flotation belt to finally swimming full laps across the pool with only the aid of fins.  They help my hamstring in a huge way, giving me a stronger kick and allowing me to glide through the water more easily.  I can swim without them but not nearly as well.

After 9 months my orthopedic doctor finally ordered an MRI for me.  It showed small tears in my hamstring, which is consistent with an overuse injury - high hamstring tendinopathy or tendinosis.  Because it is not tendonitis (inflammation), traditional therapies haven't worked for me.  Instead of being a nice smooth tendon, mine is grisled and gnarly.  It isn't getting good blood flow to the area and healing time is very slow.  Because this is been going on for so long, I need to speed up the healing process.  

Tomorrow I am going to have a procedure done called Platelet-Rich Plasma (PRP). Basically, the doctor will take my own blood, spin it in a centrifuge, and extract the platelet-rich plasma.  That will then be injected into my hamstring using ultrasound imaging to ensure it goes into just the right spot.  

This is still not exactly a quick fix.  After the procedure I have to rest completely from any activity involving the hamstring (other than walking).  Shut it down.  I'll have a 2-week follow-up and if all looks good I should be able to slowly start up again.  There will be 6-week and 3-month follow-up appointments.  The whole healing process should be complete by the end of 3 months but I'll be able to run before that.  Yes you read that correctly!  Barring any unforeseen circumstances I'll be running again!

To be honest, 2 weeks without any cardio scares the crap out of me.  Although riding that bike day after day got old, it was something.  But when I look back, I never thought I'd make it 2 days without running, let alone 12 weeks and counting.  If I could do that, I can do this too.  It's all about the big picture, which is getting healthy so I can be back out there doing what I love most - running.   

Read previous injury posts here: 

Injury Update - 7.5 Weeks

Injury Update - Still a Pain in the Butt

Injury Update - On the Run Again!

Video Analysis - Taking a Closer Look at My Injury 

Detroit Tough - Why I Love My Gym

It's about time I get down to writing a post about my favorite gym - Detroit Tough.  Although these days, Detroit Tough isn't just my favorite gym.  It's pretty much my favorite place.  It's where I go to find inspiration, healing, and peace.  Yes, peace among the smashing weights, loud yelling, and Slayer music blaring in the background.  Somehow I feel calm there.  It's my happy place.  My home away from home.

I started going in November and working with Coach Terra Castro, a former professional Triathlete.  She is an all-around amazing person and came into my life at just the right time.  She launched the Detroit Tough Endurance Program in November, which includes Run, Bike, and Swim classes.  I haven't attended any of these classes yet but am looking forward to doing so in the coming months, once I'm healed up. 

Also part of the program is my favorite class - Detroit Tough Mechanics.  It's an injury prevention/rehab class that targets mobility, body mechanics, strength, and balance.  As Coach Terra says, "we need to focus on the little details to keep our engine running properly."  

For me, this class has been key with my hamstring injury - both mentally and physically.  It has been better than any PT I've received.  We do band work (clams, monster walks, squats).  We use balance balls (hamstring curls, leg extensions, Supermans).  We use medicine balls (wall ball, Russian twists.)  She has us using the TRX system, lifting kettle bells, and using boxes for mobility drills.  One day we even got to beat the crap out of a punching bag with a baseball bat.  It's never the same class twice and it's always awesome.  

Coach Terra is kind, gentle, and understanding of what it's like to be injured.  She's been a lifesaver!  She will, however, push you to your limit.  We've done 5-minute planks.  100 calf raises per leg.  100 sit ups.  No whining, no excuses.  And I love her for it.  Nothing ever hurts my hamstring when I'm there.  She makes sure of it.  

Here are a few of the exercises we do in Mechanics.  (Photos courtesy of Coaches Terra and Roger.)

 Strength - Wall ball.  Squat and throw against the wall. It's harder than it looks!

Mobility - Under and over.  Knock one down and it's a 5-minute plank penalty.

Balance - Bird dogs with PVC.  Keep the hips stable or the pipe falls (5 push-up penalty).

Movement prep - Great rehab for my hamstring; also great for non-injured runners too!

Therapy - I wrote "hammy" on the bag and beat the crap out of it.  It felt amazing.

I'm looking forward to my hamstring being healed so I can take advantage of the rest of the Detroit Endurance Program, along with more of the classes that the gym has to offer. I'm especially excited to do Coach Roger's Detroit Tough class.  I actually did it once when Coach Terra and Coach Roger teamed up and combined their classes.  It was the most challenging boot camp-style class I've ever taken - and it didn't even involve pushing football sleds, tractor tires, or climbing walls like it usually does.  We did, however, army-crawl through a human plank tunnel in the dark while getting ice cold water poured over our backs as we listened to the same Slayer song for an hour straight.  So there was that.

The gym offers tons of classes.  Besides Detroit Tough, I'm excited to try TRX, Bricktown Bodies, and Bodyweight Warrior.  Right now I've been doing drop-in for Mechanics but once I know what's going on with my hamstring I'm going to start a 1-month membership that my parents gave me for Christmas.  (They're the coolest parents!)  Hopefully next month I can check out some of these other classes.  It's time to shake things up!

Detroit Tough is located in Corktown, behind Brooklyn Street Local and PJ's Lager House. Read more about Detroit Tough and what Coach Roger is doing with the gym and for the community in the January Hour Detroit issue.  Good stuff is happening in Detroit, ladies and gentlemen.  I'm happy to be a part of it.   Amazing gym, incredible people - coaches and clients alike.  

Plus they have super sweet hoodies. 

Photo courtesy of Brian Wolski

What gym do you belong to and why do you love it?

Finding Peace in 2015

As we begin another year, I'm reading many Facebook posts about running goals - new distances, PRs to be set, favorite races to be run again.  Registration opened at midnight for the Detroit Free Press marathon and it seems everyone I know signed up for it already! I love the enthusiasm and look forward to seeing it continue throughout the year with training plans and race day excitement.  This is the first year that I'm not signing up for the Detroit relay, half, or full in 8 years.  I love running in Detroit but am planning to run Chicago instead, which is the week before.  I have a qualifying time, Brian has family there, we love the city, and it's time for something different.  The good thing is I'll be in Detroit on race day to cheer on all my friends along the course!

It isn't realistic for me to set specific running goals right now, considering I'm not able to run.  I'm trying to be brave while I work on my recovery but I don't know what the future holds.  Not knowing when I'll be able to run again is scary.  I feel this quote is very fitting for me as I look to the year ahead. 

Coach Terra at Detroit Tough asked me to think of a word to focus on for the new year. After much thought, I chose PEACE - finding peace in what I do, making peace with my decisions, with myself, with the things I cannot change.  Being at peace with not knowing what might come next.  


If you chose a word to focus on, what would your word be?

Injury Update - 7.5 Weeks

It's been so long since I've run.  51 days to be exact.  It feels like forever!  High hamstring tendinopathy is a real b*tch.  Thankfully, I've been able to keep up my fitness in other ways.  I've been going to the gym and riding the stationary bike just about every day for 45 minutes.  At first the seat aggravated my butt; however, as my hamstring improved a bit that did, as well.  I tried spinning class a couple of times but found that getting in and out of the saddle, as well as hovering over the seat, left me in pain the next day.  Back to solo rides.

I've also been learning to swim.  Today will be my last of 5 lessons.  When I first started I only knew how to doggy paddle and had never worn goggles or a swim cap.  Now I can swim one full-length of the pool in a somewhat respectable manner.  I have a lot of practice to do and I don't love it yet but I'm getting there.

What I've worked the most on during these past 51 days is strength.  I've been going to Detroit Tough for a Mechanics class.  Coach Terra helps me with balance, mobility, and strength.  I've made a lot of gains from my work with her - both mentally and physically!  (Detroit Tough post to follow shortly.)

Along with my work at Detroit Tough, I'm also finishing up another 4 weeks of physical therapy.  This time I'm going to to Advanced Physical Therapy in Dearborn.  It's been a good experience.  Previous PT was done at Henry Ford Fairlane (not a great experience) and ATI Ann Arbor (good experience).  I've been going 3 days a week for 1-1.5 hours and completing exercises/stretches at home most days that I'm not there.  The exercises all work to strengthen the hips, glutes, and hamstrings.  I'll finish on Friday but continue my home program until I see my orthopedic on January 14th.  He has an option he's considering to speed the healing process, but that would also have recovery time in and of itself.  I will keep you updated on that.

Here are a few of my exercises from physical therapy (all photos courtesy of Brian Wolski):

Straight leg lift 1 of 4 ways (holding 3 seconds): I use leg weights at PT

Straight leg lift 1 of 4 ways (holding 3 seconds): I use leg weights at PT

Clams (holding 3-5 seconds)

Ball Bridge: part 1 (hold 3 seconds)

Ball Bridge: part 2 (hold 3 seconds)

People are starting to ask when I'll run again.  The only answer to that question is that I'll run when I'm pain-free.  After running in pain for 7 months, I'm finally doing recovery right.  

Boston 2015 is probably not going to happen after all.  It would take a miracle.  But I've made my peace with it and set my sights on fall marathons - New York and Chicago.  New year, new races, new cities to see on foot.  And more time to heal.

Read previous injury posts here: 

Injury Update - Still a Pain in the Butt

Injury Update - On the Run Again!

Video Analysis - Taking a Closer Look at My Injury